You don’t need more motivation. You need deprogramming. The scripts in your head didn’t arrive with your consent. They were installed. Quietly. Repeatedly. Everywhere. Deprogramming is the work of finding those invisible scripts and ripping them out by the roots. Call it unlearning if you prefer. But start with what it is: deprogramming.
Why deprogramming beats learning
When I thought of transforming my life from feeling disgusting to being realistic and having emotional control, I found that learning is not so important, but unlearning felt crucial. It was not what I didn’t know. It was more about what I already know is absolutely stupid.
Learning is easy; you can learn any skill in 20 days or a month. I was reading this research, which says that if you want to be good at something, it only takes 20 hours.
Most people I work with feel stuck – caught in toxic positivity, “motivational” content, quick‑fix hacks, and manifestation trends. I’ve saved hundreds of reels myself. I know the loop. It feels productive. It isn’t. It’s ego learning; learning that looks smart on the outside and keeps you exactly where you were 5–10 years ago.
We are learning 24/7 whether we like it or not. Look at your last 15 minutes. Your last hour. Yesterday. Impressions stack up, they rise into thoughts, calcify into words, spill into emotions, and lock into behaviors. If you never examine what’s being installed, you don’t have beliefs – beliefs have you.
You can’t “unlearn” a skill. You can deprogram a belief.
Let’s be blunt: you don’t unlearn typing or riding a bike. You deprogram the belief that says “If I don’t do X, I’m a failure.” Skills don’t usually sink you. Hidden beliefs do.
Beliefs you never tested shape your mindset; your mindset shapes your actions. If you believe in vague ideas without lived experience, what kind of learning is that? Read that again.
I used to think success guarantees happiness. It doesn’t. Plenty of people learn, earn, and still live in chaos because unexamined ideas drive their choices.
Don’t just keep learning. Sit down. Reflect. Uninstall.
A raw example: the 4 a.m. lie that poisoned progress
It’s common sense to wake up early. Fine. But somewhere along the way, a belief took root: “If I don’t wake up at 4 a.m., I can’t be successful.” Even when I woke at 5 or 6, even when I meditated, exercised, ate well, and did deep work, my day felt like a failure – not because of reality, but because of a belief.
I went to bed feeling defeated while actually making real progress. That’s what bad code does: it corrupts your metrics. When I started reflecting on the feeling – not the schedule, the feeling – I found the root. It wasn’t mornings. It was the rule. The deprogramming started right there.
“Unlearning happens when you identify what you need to unlearn.”
The deprogramming model
Think of this as a simple mental model you can run daily.
- Reveal the script
- You can’t change what you can’t see. Name the invisible rules running you.
- Trace the source
- Is this from your lived experience or from culture, reels, gurus, family, school, tribe?
- Stress‑test the belief
- Where is it true? Where does it break? What’s the cost of keeping it?
- Replace the rule
- Write a leaner, truer rule anchored in experience, not fantasy.
- Run small experiments
- Prove the new rule with behavior, not pep talks. Keep what works. Kill what doesn’t.
Step 1: Make the unseen visible
Make a list of things you never consciously learned yet see in your behavior: religion, politics, money, relationships, body image, productivity, “success,” focus, rest.
Ask yourself, and answer honestly:
- What do you think about most of the day?
- Do you like or hate someone you’ve never met?
- Do you get disturbed when something challenges your belief?
- Can people flip your behavior with a word or a post? If yes, what’s the trigger?
Think. Think.
You’ll notice many of these weren’t born from your experience. They were inserted. And they’re steering you.
How can you hate someone you’ve never met? That picture was painted for you – by people you also don’t know. A single piece of advice: “Never hate anyone unnecessarily.”
Step 2: Ask brutal WHYs
If it’s helping you, keep it – but reflect. Most internet judgments are a collage of headlines, clips, and outrage, not experience. Drag your beliefs into daylight and interrogate them.
Common high‑impact areas with little lived experience behind them:
- Religion
- Extreme, binary views
- If I don’t like it, I must hate it. No. If you don’t like it, step away.
- Judgment built on vague ideas
- Advising others on things you’ve never done
- A borrowed definition of success
- Hating unnecessarily
If you reflect deeply on just these six, 80–90% of your deprogramming has already begun. Skills aren’t hurting you. These are.
Daily deprogramming practice
Run these tiny drills. No motivation required.
- Spot the trigger
- When you feel that spike – anger, shame, superiority – pause. Name it.
- Label the rule
- “I believe X must happen or I’m Y.” Write the exact sentence.
- Break it on purpose
- Design a small violation. Wake at 6 and still ship great work. Skip the reel and sit in silence for 5 minutes. Don’t post. Do the work.
- Measure reality, not ego
- Track outcomes, energy, and results — not how righteous the belief felt.
- Keep the useful, cut the hype
- If a belief improves your life in the real world, keep it. If not, uninstall.
What deprogramming is not
- It’s not cynicism. You’re not anti‑everything. You’re anti‑unexamined.
- It’s not laziness. It’s fewer, better rules that make action easier.
- It’s not “manifestation.” It’s reality‑aligned behavior that compounds.
Replace the bad code: leaner rules that actually work
- Old rule: “If I don’t wake at 4 a.m., I’m a failure.”
- New rule: “I measure days by deep work, not clock time.”
- Old rule: “If I’m not learning something new, I’m falling behind.”
- New rule: “I learn when it improves a result I care about.”
- Old rule: “If I don’t feel motivated, I can’t start.”
- New rule: “I start small; motivation can catch up.”
Write your rules in one line. Post them where your ego can see them. Rehearse them with action.
The Unmotivator stance
We don’t sell hype. We don’t worship motivation. We ship what works. Deprogramming is the fastest route to relief because it cuts the weight you didn’t know you were carrying. When you stop believing everything you’re told and everything you tell yourself, life gets lighter, calmer, and more yours.
It’s time to rethink your life. Start deprogramming. Unlearn what never belonged to you. Your day gets easier. Your decisions get cleaner. Your results get real because they’re finally running on your experience, not someone else’s script.
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